Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts

Sunday, December 15, 2013

"Do one thing every day that scares you.”

by Nib

This is what Eleanor Roosevelt said and I think it’s good advice.  Well, not the EVERY day thing. I only need so much challenge in my life. 

I like Eleanor Roosevelt. At least, I like the woman I perceive her to have been since I never met her in real life. She seems strong and capable, courageous and compassionate.


Inspired by Ellie’s nudge, I decided to take a stab at something I’ve been scared of for a long time. I shut my eyes, gulped down my fear and volunteered to teach a class on writing. It’s not a huge obligation, just a three-hour workshop. Only three hours. A mere… THREE LONG, EXCURITATING, TERRIFYING HOURS!

It’s not that I’m afraid of public speaking. I’ve read fear of public speaking ranks second only to fear of snakes. But I’m one of the lucky few who only get mildly nervous. My extreme discomfort stems from the deep-seated insecurity that I know nothing about writing. Despite having been at it long enough that my first completed novel would be eligible to vote and drink in any state, and having a published thriller and am midway through a three-book contract for a mystery series and have been included in several anthologies, I feel like a poseur. 

My generous and supportive Sisters of the Quill have been encouraging me to teach a workshop or two for quite a while. Karen Lin is a consummate teacher. She’s a sought-after presenter at writing conferences and has even scored a couple of gigs on cruise ships. Her knowledge is vast and her advice is spot-on. She’s got something to tell writers.

Both Julie Kaewart and Janet Fogg are multi-published and have years of experience. I know, from their adept critique of my work, they know their stuff and can lead any aspiring writer along the right path. I’d listen to any knowledge and advice they put out.

I sort of feel like I ought to be a super-star to put myself up as worthy of teaching. But I’m just a regular Joe (Josephine?) trying to improve with each book. I have shelves of books on writing, stacks of CDs from conferences, notebooks full from workshops I’ve attended. Every time I read a novel part of my brain is picking it apart, trying to identify why it works or why it falls flat. In other words, I’m the student, not the all-knowing teacher.

Yet, when I think about my writing journey, I’m grateful for all the writers who presented at the conferences I attended. They may not have been NY Times bestsellers (though some of them were) and they may not have known all there was to know. Some of them haven’t published a novel. But they knew stuff. Good stuff. I picked up bits and pieces and whole new ways of thinking from these writers willing to pass along what they know.

So allowing myself the benefit of not being an all-encompassing expert and realizing I’m traveling on the journey like everyone else, I’m going to do this really scary thing and teach a workshop. It doesn’t mean I’ve arrived at the Big Time. But I didn’t know anything about writing when I started and now I know a couple of things. So I’ll teach those and maybe they will help another writer improve a little.




I’m going to go out there and grow some character. Just maybe, along the way I might be able to help someone else, too.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Brave New World

by Nib

“Listen to this.” I rattled the paper and read from the classified ads. “Wanted: Finance and Accounting manager for village of Culbertson.”

My long-suffering partner raised his eyebrows. “And?”

“Culbertson is only eleven miles from here. I’m qualified. Maybe I ought to apply.”

He walked the three steps that took him from the far side of the kitchen through the dining room to the living room where he stood in the six inches between the sofa/desk/cafĂ© and TV to emphasize his point. “But you’re a full time writer. You don’t have time for another job.”



I shrugged.


“Right?” He pushed. “Right?”

Right. By now, I’ve been a stay at home writer for two weeks. I’ve written a ton of words and started to apply myself to all those writerly things I’ve never had time for previously. I’m studying about audio books and indie publishing. Making marketing plans and reading about the industry. I’m even trying to give myself permission to read a lot of books.

For many reasons, we made the decision that now is the time to drastically downsize our lives so I can devote my energy to writing. To make this possible, we moved to a small town in Nebraska where we plan to stay for 591 days until my partner retires and we head south. I’m thrilled and excited and full of ideas and ambition.


And scared to death.

I’ve enjoyed the push and rush of a business career. I like dressing for the office, having an excuse to buy shoes, needing a closetful of skirts and dresses and having places to wear them. I work well with schedules and routine. I really, really love a fat paycheck.

I’ve lived in rural places for big chunks of my life and I’m not too put-out with our 100 year-old house with 800 square feet of living space. I can do without the dishwasher, the automatic garage door (and in fact, the garage) and couldn’t care less about the lack of fine dining and shopping malls.

I get to live the dream. Days full of writing and time to invest in doing it right.

The awful truth, though, is that I’m not making any money. We planned for this and expected it. I've got the budgets and spreadsheets to plot my way through this new venture. My business plan doesn’t even call for income for another several months, perhaps a year, probably more. Even then, it won’t be as much as my MBA earned me. Ever. It won’t be reliable and steady.

That’s how business and life works. You take risks and do your best. You weigh quality of life issues and set heart and money on the scales. Make a decision and jump with both feet.The key for me is put away guilt and doubts. Set aside the fear and step out into this new adventure with confidence and courage.

I folded the newspaper and reached for my computer. If I’m going to write the first draft of this novel in a month, I can’t waste time reading want ads.

We all give up something to be writers. We sacrifice time with our families, money for conferences, trade-offs with recreational and relaxing events. What do you give up and is it worth it? Does it take courage to pay the cost for your writing dream?